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 The Funky Caller
Ring! Ring! I picked up the phone and told the caller my fictitious name. "I'm here for your pleasure! I said. "I want you to bully Me." he responded. "You are extremely overweight, a matronly woman of 55, wearing a girdle, an 18 hour bra, slippers and a muumuu, and I want you to wash my hair and then put it into curlers." the caller continued. "Have you got that?" the called asked. "Yes," I told him. "You have actually described me very well! Just how did you know I looked this way?" I asked him. "Just perfect!" he said. "You and I are going to get along just famously!"
He asked me to describe myself. "I am 55." I said. "I wear a huge long flowing cotton smock to accommodate my size. I have rolls and huge deposits of fat all over my body." "I am very beautiful and very mean, too!" I said. "You have been a very bad boy and now I must punish you." I exclaimed. "First thing I will do is whip you head to toe. Can you feel the sting of my whip? I asked. "Ooh, yes! It just feels so delicious!" he cried back. "Your back and buttocks are crimson by now and you are begging me to stop." I said.
"You are such a mean and nasty mistress," the caller stated. "Yes, I am and now it is time to wash and curl your long hair. Just sit back and feel the cascade of hot water." I commanded. "I am washing your hair now and using lots of suds to get the dirt out" I said. "Now, how does that feel?" I asked.
Next, it was time to roll his hair. "I'm putting in large rollers and when I'm done you will look gorgeous." I said. The caller told me he felt much better and was ready to go out for a night on the town and did I care to join him? I begged off and thanked him for his call. "I will be back!" he ended. That was initiation into the sometimes-wacky world of phone sex.
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